Is it just another number? Is it a milestone that provides an opportunity to assess where you’re at, and conspire about how to get to where you want to be? Or is it a scary landmark signaling the past-due end of my youth and grim reminder of time’s relentless journey forward? It’s definitely all three, right? It’s never taken much for me to begin thinking about the fleetingness of life (INFP thing again?), so as my next birthday quickly approaches, my main hope is to experience it happily and take it stride. I’m making a conscious effort (and mostly succeeding, I think) to not be melodramatic about turning 30 on Friday. I’ll be happy as long as I handle it better than my 10th Birthday*. Since I won’t be doing any engineering in my thirties, I’m already positive that this decade will significantly outshine the last! That’s a good feeling.
That said, it is certainly an opportunity to really think about my path forward as an artist. Since the start of the school year, I’ve been subbing a whole lot to help out with the bills. This will definitely continue (since it’s very necessary at this point!), but I think I’ve reached a place in the year where I’m planning on toning it down and really focusing on finishing (and starting!) some projects that I’ve neglected. Right now, I’ve been pretty good about wrapping up some of the paintings that I began months ago and then let sit over the summer while I tried my best to escape the Austin heat. I feel like finishing these up has really cleared up some mental space to attack new ideas, and that’s a great kind of freedom! I’ll end this meandering monologue with the latest canvas that I just added the final touches to recently:
Painting Background Info:This painting started with a job to paint a food truck back in May. As I’ve mentioned before, blocking out the composition and getting the space just right can be the hardest part for me, especially when working without a reference. So, I found the same-sized canvas of my space on the truck so I could block out my composition at home (and avoid the inevitable sunburn had I worked it all out in the elements at the truck). Here’s how the food truck turned out in May:
*Little Anecdote about my 10th Birthday: I asked my mother to wake me up at my exact time of birth: 2:06am (I think) in the morning. When she followed through on my request, my body suddenly and without warning filled with existential dread and I lamented the fact that I was now in the double-digits, never again to return to the blissful ignorance of the 9 and under. Needless to say, this was not the reaction my mother was expecting from an otherwise even-keeled and well-adjusted 4th grader. It’s become a fun family joke over the years, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten how that 10 year old felt when she began to understand that she had no say in the arrow of time and it’s always increasing entropy.